Coffee, Caramel & Cream

My heart feels so heavy, it could almost sink right into the floor. I feel paralyzed with sadness, grief, anger, and fear. I couldn't post a facebook status because words just wouldn't come to me, only tears.

And yet, what ever I am feeling, I know that it is nothing compared to what the families and community in Connecticut are going through.

The faces of those sweet children and heroic teachers consume my thoughts and prayers.

All weekend I was dreading this morning. This morning where I would have to send my oldest off to school. Something that before Friday has been routine to us. I didn't want to. Last night after they fell asleep I sat outside their rooms crying.

How can I protect them?

Parents have so much to fear, sending our children off to school should not be one of them.

How are we, as a society, failing our children so miserably?

What can we do to stop these horrific tragedies?

Why are these events so frequent now?

Things like this didn't happen 30 - 40 years ago, what has changed?

Assault weapons? Why are they on the street?

Violent video games and movies? Our children and society are so DESENSITIZED to violence it makes me physically ill.

I have so many questions, and I have zero answers.

I can't stop hugging and kissing my girls. Things that used to annoy me, now seem so small, so insignificant. I know I'm not alone. All parents everywhere must be feeling similar.

I wish I had something inspiration to say to you all. I'm sorry to say that I don't. I don't know where we go from here. My heart hurts for those families.

I can only offer up a prayer.

                Dear Lord,
                           Please guide us. Help us to raise compassionate, loving children. Help us to help each other. Help us to love each other.  Please be with the community of Newtown, Connecticut, especially those who lost dearly loved ones. Please wrap them in the light of your love and find a path to peace and comfort. I pray that these massacres will stop. Please keep our children safe. Please help us, heavenly Father.

                                          Amen.